26 Apr 202611 min read
Invisible labor and the way it kills initiation.
When one partner has been the metronome of the household, the request to be wanted starts to feel like another item on a list. The question becomes how to ask without auditing.
A private quiz for couplesest. 2024 · bothwant
we'll only reveal what you both want.
A private quiz for committed partners. You both answer the same questions, alone. We reveal only what you both want. Anything else stays unsaid.
Free · no account · 90 seconds
↓ The mechanic, in three frames001 / 008
A private quizest. 2024
we'll only reveal what you both want.
A private quiz for committed partners. You both answer the same questions, alone. We reveal only what you both want.
Free · no account · 90 seconds
The mechanic§ 01
01
You answer alone.
Five questions. Then more, when you want them. Your answers are visible to no one — not us, not your partner.
02
Your partner answers alone.
Same questions, on their own time, on their own device. Neither of you sees the other's responses, ever.
03
We reveal only the overlap.
If you both said yes, you both see it. If either said no, maybe, or skipped — it stays unsaid. As if it was never asked.
An anchor line
Most couples have never asked each other what they actually want.
Not because they don't love each other. Because the words themselves carry too much weight to be the first one to say. We made a place for the question to live without the cost of asking.
The librarySeven rooms.
Seven rooms.
Seven rooms. Two hundred268
and sixty-eight questions. questions.
Questions are written by therapists and edited by writers. They get more specific, never more clever. Read one before you answer it; nobody is timing you.
Updated monthly. New rooms in 2026.
I10 questions
Communication
“What you'd want to be asked more often, and what you'd rather not be asked at all.”
II10 questions
Intimacy
“How often you'd like to be touched without it leading to anything.”
III69 questions
Fantasies
“The thought you've never spoken aloud, only nodded at internally.”
IV13 questions
Exploration
“Somewhere you'd want to go, with this person, that you've never proposed.”
V116 questions
Kinks
“What you'd want to know first before saying yes to a new thing.”
VI8 questions
Power Dynamics
“Who you'd like to lead, occasionally, in places you have not led each other.”
VII42 questions
Wild Card
“The questions that did not fit, and that we kept anyway because they earned it.”
ICommunication
10 questionsIIIntimacy
10 questionsIIIFantasies
69 questionsIVExploration
13 questionsVKinks
116 questionsVIPower Dynamics
8 questionsVIIWild Card
42 questionsThe architecture
Your answers are visible to your partner only if they also said yes.Your answers are visible
to your partner only
if they also said yes.
- 01We never see individual answers.
- 02Reveal logic runs server-side; only the intersection leaves.
- 03Delete everything in one click, anytime.
~/security/architecture.txtv.4
partner_a → encrypted_response_a
partner_b → encrypted_response_b
// server-side intersection
intersect(a, b) ⟶ shared_yes
// the only object returned
return shared_yes
discard(a); discard(b);
encryption
AES-256-GCM
AES-256-GCM
at rest
per-user keys
per-user keys
analytics
none on answers
none on answers
account
delete in 1 click
delete in 1 click
From the journal
19 Apr 20268 min read
The fear of being truly seen by your partner.
Most long-term couples have a private inventory of things they suspect their partner would not understand. Most of the time, they are wrong about which item is on it.
12 Apr 202613 min read
Strength is sexy: the paradox of independence.
What looks from the outside like distance often reads from the inside as availability. The capacity to be alone is what makes returning home meaningful.
Pricing — plainly
One subscription.
Roughly the cost of one couples session, for a year.Plainly priced.
Free$0always
$0always
Five sample questions. The mutual-yes reveal. Nothing else.
Premium$9.99per month
$9.99per month
All 268 questions. Seven rooms. New entries monthly. Cancel anytime.
Annual$79per year
$79per year
Everything in Premium, billed yearly. Roughly the price of one couples session.
Begin
Ask without
asking.
The five-question sample. About ninety seconds. You’ll know within one screen whether the rest is worth it.
BeginAnonymous to your partner unless they say yes too.