A quiet Sunday, no plansReading aloud in bedA trip with no itineraryBeing told what you did right
Them — answered alone
A quiet Sunday, no plansDancing in the kitchenA standing date nightMore time apart, said kindly
If either of you said no, maybe, or skipped — it stays unsaid. As if it was never asked.
The mechanic§ 01
01
You answer alone.
Five questions. Then more, when you want them. Your answers are visible to no one — not us, not your partner.
02
They answer alone.
Same questions, on their own time, on their own device. Neither of you sees the other's responses, ever.
03
Only the overlap surfaces.
If you both said yes, you both see it. If either said no, maybe, or skipped — it stays unsaid. As if it was never asked.
Try it — right here
§ 02 · no account
From the library — 01
Would you want one quiet Sunday a month with no plans at all?
From the library — 02
Would you want to be told, plainly, what you're already doing right?
Nobody is timing you.
An anchor line
§ 03
Most couples have never askedeach other what theyactually want.
Not because they don't love each other. Because the words themselves carry too much weight to be the first one to say. We made a place for the question to live without the cost of asking.
— pinned, somewhere quieter
The library
Seven rooms. Seven rooms. Three hundred340 and forty questions. questions.
Questions are written by therapists and edited by writers. They get more specific, never more clever. Read one before you answer it; nobody is timing you.
Updated monthly. New rooms in 2026.
01
Communication“What you'd want to be asked more often, and what you'd rather not be asked at all.”
31 questions
02
Intimacy“How often you'd like to be touched without it leading to anything.”
36 questions
03
Fantasies“The thought you've never spoken aloud, only nodded at internally.”
80 questions
04
Exploration“Somewhere you'd want to go, with this person, that you've never proposed.”
14 questions
05
Kinks“What you'd want to know first before saying yes to a new thing.”
128 questions
06
Power Dynamics“Who you'd like to lead, occasionally, in places you have not led each other.”
9 questions
07
Wild Card“The questions that did not fit, and that we kept anyway because they earned it.”
42 questions
340 questions — revealed only in agreement.
The architecture of a secret
§ 05 · /security
Your answers are visible to your partner only if they also said yes.
01We never see individual answers.
02Reveal logic runs server-side; only the intersection leaves.
03Delete everything in one click, anytime.
The reveal logic runs server-side. Individual answers are never returned to either client. The only data that leaves our servers is the intersection — what you both said yes to. You can delete everything, anytime, in one click.
~/security/what-we-can-prove.txtv.5
✓
individual answers
never returned to either client
✓
reveal logic
runs server-side, both answers required
✓
the only response
the intersection — what you both said yes
✓
storage
encrypted at rest, unreadable to us
✓
analytics on answers
none
✓
deletion
everything, one click, anytime
The full write-up lives at /security.
Built for§ 03b · /inclusivity
Every kind of love.
BothWant adapts to your orientation, identity, and relationship structure. The questions reshape themselves for who you actually are. No defaults assumed. No categories imposed.
Orientation
Hetero
Gay
Lesbian
Bi
Pan
Ace
Queer
Questioning
Structure
Monogamous
Triad
Quad
Open
LDR
Newly dating
Rekindling
If your shape isn’t here, the quiz still adapts. Tell us in your profile and the questions follow.
Built for§ 03b
Every kind of love.
BothWant adapts to your orientation, identity, and relationship structure. The questions reshape themselves for who you actually are. No defaults assumed. No categories imposed.
Orientation
Hetero
Gay
Lesbian
Bi
Pan
Ace
Queer
Questioning
Structure
Monogamous
Triad
Quad
Open
LDR
Newly dating
Rekindling
If your shape isn’t here, the quiz still adapts. Tell us in your profile and the questions follow.
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