Guides for couples who want to know more about each other.
Evergreen reading on communication, intimacy, conflict, and care.
Asking for what you want without making it a referendum on the relationship
How to make a specific request — about touch, about time, about effort — without the asking itself becoming the conversation. With scripts for the ten minutes after.
Receiving feedback on intimacy without flinching
What it costs the partner who said something hard. What it costs the partner who heard it. Two separate skills — one for each chair.
When to bring up money, when to bring up sex, when to bring up children
On timing, sequence, and the well-meaning catastrophe of holding all three conversations on the same Sunday. A rough calendar that has worked for a number of long-married couples.
What 'no' means after twelve years together
How a long-married no is not the no of a new relationship — and the cost of treating them the same. Including what to do when 'no' has been the default for a while.
The maintenance conversation — every Sunday, ten minutes, no devices
A practice borrowed from couples therapists who hate practices borrowed from couples therapists. Why it works, and the three questions that anchor it.
How to know when you're avoiding the question, and what to do about it
The signs of the slow drift — when 'fine' has been the answer too many times in a row. A self-audit that takes five minutes alone before the harder conversation.