We earn a commission on most products listed below. We chose them anyway. The nine products on this page replaced fifty-three. The other forty-four are listed at the bottom under “We won’t recommend.”
The book that gave us a vocabulary for desire inside long relationships. We require it of every BothWant team member in their first month. We have given away 47 copies to subscribers who emailed us asking why their partner wouldn’t talk about sex.
“It is the book about long-term desire.”
Affiliate link →The dual-control model of arousal, explained without making you feel like you’re reading a textbook. Particularly useful for women whose partners have, with the best intentions, asked the wrong questions for many years.
“Read this if your partner says “I don’t know what I want.””
Affiliate link →EFT for couples, in plain language. The seven conversations are a strong scaffold for a couple working without a therapist. The Mating in Captivity / Hold Me Tight pairing — desire and attachment — is the closest thing we have to a complete theory.
“The attachment counterpart to Mating in Captivity.”
Affiliate link →Progress is not the unit. Conversation is.
Desire is not a seasoning.
Gamification of vulnerability is a category error.
Almost always selling something other than what the title implies.
Save the money. See a therapist for ten sessions instead.