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Nine things, chosen carefully.

We earn a commission on most products listed below. We chose them anyway. The nine products on this page replaced fifty-three. The other forty-four are listed at the bottom under “We won’t recommend.”

04 · Journals$22

Leuchtturm1917 A5 Plain

by Leuchtturm1917

A blank-page hardcover with a bookmark, a pocket, and an elastic. We tested seven journal brands at $20–$60. This one is the floor of “good.” If you want better, get a Midori MD. If you want cheaper, the basic Muji A5 is fine.

If you’re going to keep a relationship journal, this is the floor.

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05 · Journals · Made by us$45

BothWant Yearly Journal (2025)

by BothWant

Twelve prompts a month, drawn from the question library. Lined paper, no app, no notifications. We made this because we ourselves wanted a journal that knew about partners. We do not have an affiliate link. We make the margin directly.

The only one on this page we make ourselves.

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What we won’t recommend

The 44 things we considered and rejected, summarized.

  • 01

    Couples-counseling apps that promise progress in 7 days.

    Progress is not the unit. Conversation is.

  • 02

    Anything with the word “spice” in the marketing copy.

    Desire is not a seasoning.

  • 03

    Question decks with “intimacy levels” unlocked by points.

    Gamification of vulnerability is a category error.

  • 04

    Books with the word “masculine” or “feminine” in the title.

    Almost always selling something other than what the title implies.

  • 05

    Most weekend retreats over $1,000.

    Save the money. See a therapist for ten sessions instead.